Thursday, September 3, 2009


Have you ever felt real anger bubbling within you that you cannot even breathe? I can tell you about that right now. I can tell you how hatred feels. I can tell you what and how to despise a person you once have respected but turned out to be just vapor that does not exist in this life. What happened to all those words you said? What happened to all those dreams you seized to build? What happened to the heart that you invaded once and said will conquer until eternity? Could I have been that wrong from the moment I saw you until the truth was revealed? Was I that blind? I do need some answers or else my nights will evade my days and my tears will flood. How can you expect me to live when all of my dreams have died? What were you exactly? Why did you enter my life when you have already decided to exit even before that?

I hold my blanket so tight to warm my limbs that are trembling with fright. I close my eyes and try to remind myself that life still has a happy side. I search within the deep silent whispers of my heart and I weep all those moments I wasted on your love. I scream my silent anger hoping that somebody will hear my horrifying sadness. I shiver with the coldness of hatred trying to make it my only reaction to what you have done to me but I fail to have anything but sympathy. I regret the day we met though I once thought it was the best day ever. My eyes are heavy but still refuse to go into a dreamy sleep. They are terrified of seeing you for the last time. I just wonder if you deserve their weary feelings and anticipation. I wish my heart could pronounce the words my mind is thinking but they would rather say the words my heart is feeling. It still beats and it still lives though you have tried to eliminate its existence by your actions and decisions.

I will promise you that if you have ever thought that your actions will break me then you are mistaken since the only consequence of us being here now is me getting stronger than ever. My tears will heal my wound and my heart will survive what you have done to me. I am sure that you will live to regret the loss you have gained out of what you have done. I say farewell to all what I have given you and to all the dreams that we have once shared hoping you will change to a better person one day and somehow.

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