Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Shutters closed, drapes lowered, lights off! Everything just stumbles into darkness.  Everything but a small glimpse of hope! Pillows fluffed, eyes drooping, body tucked in trying to relax, my soul drifts away looking down at her dwelling place.  My soul shivers, quivers, and then dwindles.  My soul is ready to leave and abandon her ship but feels chained and buried down under so much unexplainable weight.  My soul aches with every movement, every twitch, and every 'ah and ooh' that the body hollers at her.

She looks down at the horrible prison of so called body then looks back at that small glimpse of light. She feels that lingering pain and those twitching aches, and wishes to escape into that glimpse of light.  At moments like these, she wants to escape that fragile body so bad that she is willing to risk it all! She wants to escape that feeling of soreness, sadness, and nothingness and go into that small glimpse of light hoping for a place where there is no more sorrow and no more pain.

Every night, when everything is so alarmingly quiet, my soul tries to escape but something stronger pulls her back again into that despicable body!  Every night, my soul soars for a second only to be pulled back into this horrible dwelling. She tries to understand what makes this body's control overwhelming when in reality, it's only drenching and suffocating!

In that short second,my soul soars in search of that power that ties her down into that awful body; that power that makes all this sorrow worthwhile and all this pain bearable. She tries to understand why despite what the body uses from all sorts of pain to smack her down, she still wakes up every morning to go through all of it one more time.  She looks through that glimpse of light searching for an answer and for the reason to find it all summed up in one word, which is hope.

My soul fights every night to wake up for a hope of a new day, a new moment, and a better future. She hopes for a new day with her loved ones, a new moment of pride and accomplishment that she sees in each one of her kids, and a better future full of tender smiles, warm hugs, and affectionate kisses. My soul sleeps every night despite all what my body inflicts on her, knowing for sure that what is to come, will be worth more than just a glimpse.