Blessings

I was shifting in my bed when strands of thoughts attacked my conscious need to sleep trying to awake all my senses that would have rather shut down after the three longest hours of my life. I have experienced similar situations where the hours seemed to be days but still this time it was different in all means. Other times, I was always awed and attached to the thing that even movement seemed impossible to accomplish. I have always enjoyed part of that time even if it was for a couple of minutes and I sometimes even enjoyed being within that situation that I hoped it would never perish.

Being mesmerized in front of a television for hours might have always been able to bring my mind to fantasize about what I have been witnessing to the extent where my mind was afraid to drift away for even a second where I can end up missing part of what was going on. Movies have always played a role in building my imagination and taking control over part of my life that I have always tried to escape.

As for this time and this movie in particular, it was appalling and compelling in all means. My eyes kept stealing glances at the clock that seemed to move slowly in contradiction to what my mind was hoping for. At times, it unfortunately seemed to even stand still or move backwards. The sounds that my ears were trying to avoid were annoying in comparison to the serenity that surrounded the characters. The movements within its scenes were so crippling though hard to keep up with for a reason my words find hard to explain. It made no sense to me the dullness that kept me attentive for three long hours.

Suddenly, a sound was able to draw me back to the reality of this appreciated world from a haze I would never wish to go back to. I jumped to the chance that was given to me and tried to take my time in whatever I was asked to do, hoping that time would pass faster but unfortunately, every part of me felt obliged to go back and continue in trying to figure out what was special about this movie.

Two monotonous hours passed when suddenly I realized that this movie was trying to teach my mind something it could not comprehend. All what I was able to think of was the fact that I do still have another hour of whatever was going on with this movie. I only hoped that my coming hour would be able to compensate my past two hours with a better accomplishment at the end.

So tense and compact was the last hour. I have always worried about aging and how things will go about before time of death comes. I have always feared the feeling of time passing by until these three hours passed by. Watching the clock go backwards and feeling the misery of becoming younger rather than older has made me appreciate every minute of my time that is moving forward. I applaud the film, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” for all the time that I have thought I was wasting since it gave me the chance to appreciate the time left for me to enjoy the blessings of becoming older day after day. I am also thankful for opening my eyes to the realization of how fortunate we are since we will have the ability to see the fruits of our love and life grow eventually to cuddle us in a bundle of joy and love.

Just Because

I remember an old rustic book that my dad once had which seemed to me on the verge of falling apart. It had the weirdest title I have ever come across. I had to open it and see what it talked about just because I was a little bit curious. I read like for less than five minutes in the book and then closed it since it made no sense to me the gibberish stuff that the author talked about and it also bored my senses to the core.

Now and almost after twenty years of this life that is full of surprising events, I wish I did continue reading it. How can I forget mostly every book that I have once read and fell in love with and still remember the title of the precarious book that failed to attract my attention and keep me interested for more than five minutes? There was something about that book, which made it cling into my life, stick there like nothing ever did, and only this month I came to the realization of such a power.

There must have been something amazing about it. Though it was older than its owner, it still filled a place in his life that he continued to keep it in spite of its condition. I remember the title, which was in a different language than what I am using now to express my feelings but still though, that language made so sense at that time. “Walking in Their Sleep” is the best translation to the title of the book. I remember clearly how it started. He talked about those people in our lives that walk in and out just like those who walk in their sleep. It made no sense to me what he said at that time but what does a ten year old know or understand from life, which only seemed innocent at that time?

As for the woman that she became, she can tell you at least a hundred interpretations to that title. Many people came into my life. Some of them left a mark and others just made no difference. I wish all made no difference since most of those who did just left a mark of pain and anger. Walking in your sleep is harmless to your soul and to others. It could be harmful to the body but that is the surface. What matters is the deep inner harm, which inflects unpleasant marks that will never diminish. A persons’ whole perspective on life changes when he is in pain.

So many people tend to affiliate with us for no reason and then they suddenly disappear with no explanation or regrets. They tend to make you feel worthless and dispensable. They go around walking in parts of your life while you are thinking that they will be there forever but you end up knowing the truth. You are simply wrong. Just like those who walk in their sleep, will wake up at a certain time, these people will wake up from their existence in your life and continue with their life as if you have never existed.

Wow! Such a title is so astounding that it keeps the mind thinking. Such remarkable books are really worth keeping for the massive amounts of thoughts they present you with and that is why I wish I had read that book. Maybe, it would have explained for me why things happen in our life and gave me solutions to the problems that humanity faces throughout their journey in this world.

Obsessions

She was accompanying her mother out of the mall when she heard the echo of ardent advances behind her. Her heart began the race of drumming so fast and strong that she could not even hear the sound of her intimidated legs shaking with the thought of escape. The fear she has once felt for real has become an obsession that is following her everywhere. She could have sworn that it was happening again today. She could not even turn her head to check if she was right or wrong.

She tilted her neck a little bit with a cautious look to be horrified by a face of a ghost that wore its hair long and straight. She felt a heart attack on its way to invade each one of her veins and heart. Her destructive imagination was allowing those evasive thoughts to inhabit her mind. The moment this ghost passed her is when her eyes reassured her mind and heart of the truth and that it can go back to beating normally with the sign of being alive once again since this ghost is only another woman who was shopping just like her.

She looked back at her mom trying to hide all the embarrassing side effects of the past deadly moments she has just experienced since her mom is the only person who can clearly read her thoughts and unlock her deepest secrets that she could ever try to conceal. She wanted to draw a smile on her face but her lips resisted it by fading it into a frown that could clearly show all the resentment she felt for the life she has come to live lately. It was a powerful burden, which she could never share with anyone though it was killing her slowly. She would rather enjoy the terror of this painful and exhilarating journey than suddenly losing all she could ever enjoy to the power of death that has been trying lamely to conquer her life.