I can handle being alone but the feeling of loneliness is what I fear. It is ripping my heart and agonizing my soul. I feel like I am a piece of a jigsaw puzzle awaiting a hand that will unravel the mystery beyond its confinements. I wish I could be certain that at least I am the last missing piece, which will complete the whole. Definitely, it would make me feel the importance of my existence. What if I am just one of the other pieces which its existence or absence does not make a difference? Do I complete the picture or am I just a corner piece of decoration that could be lost without affecting the whole.
I remember once, at the university, I was asked about marriage and my answer was it would mean finding a person who would be my other half and would complete me. For my shock, rage was the outcome of such a statement. I was told that I am complete and do not need anyone or anything to do so. Unfortunately, I did not feel it at that time and still do not. I am still walking in the journey of discovering whatever would complete me so I can feel whole.
My thoughts extend beyond the clouds searching the vast horizon for a meaning to my life. I am desperate to experience the sensation of solving the mystery that has been tormenting my soul. I am ready to put the pieces of my life together.